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 Post subject: Your Opinion Please
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 2:50 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:41 am
Posts: 281
Location: Texas,USA
Hey all

I would like to ask your opinion on my bio.I am trying to make it more compact.In addition,I am also wondering if I should my full name,first name or Mr

The bio can be found at http://www.avgusteantonov.com/bio.html

Thanks

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Avguste Antonov
Concert Pianist
http://www.avgusteantonov.com


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 3:23 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 13, 2006 1:03 pm
Posts: 2388
Location: Obamanation, unfortunately...
"Following his stay in Bordeaux, Mr Antonov followed his parents to the United States"

Add a period after the "Mr".

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Add a space between every parenthesis and preceding words. Example: Normale de Paris(1989-1990)
It should be Normale de Paris (1989-1990)

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As soloist, Mr Antonov has performed Liszt 2nd Piano Concerto with the...

Correction:
"As a soloist, Mr. Antonov has performed Liszt's 2nd Piano Concerto...."

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He has also performed recitals in Bordeaux(France),Kansas,Iowa,Missouri.

I think you can remove "(France)" because Bordeaux is widely known to be in France. Also make sure you add a space after every comma: ...Bordeaux, Kansas, Iowa, and Missouri.

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Carter Pann,John Mackey, Raina Murnak,John Arrigo-Nelson and many others.

Again, add spaces between the comma and the names.

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Just a couple of minor errors to be fixed.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 4:26 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:41 am
Posts: 281
Location: Texas,USA
Thanks,I will make sure to correct that.
I am basically starting this week to rework on my site and hopefully make it more compact and easy to read/access.
Any further opinions are more than welcome

Thanks

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Avguste Antonov
Concert Pianist
http://www.avgusteantonov.com


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 6:54 pm 
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Joined: Mon Apr 30, 2007 6:35 am
Posts: 1418
Location: Gulfport, MS, USA
I don't think it's too long as it is, but if you'd like it shortened some more, I can use my English whiz skills to make it shorter without actually changing anything you said. Also, you should put spaces between the parentheses and the words that come before and after them (unless it's punctuation after - then no space). Like so. It looks kind of sloppy otherwise.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2009 4:48 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 7:41 am
Posts: 281
Location: Texas,USA
Terez wrote:
I don't think it's too long as it is, but if you'd like it shortened some more, I can use my English whiz skills to make it shorter without actually changing anything you said. Also, you should put spaces between the parentheses and the words that come before and after them (unless it's punctuation after - then no space). Like so. It looks kind of sloppy otherwise.


I would love to see what you can come up with :)

But to be honest,i wasnt really talking about the bio.I was more referring to the full site.Maybe combine a few pages?

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Avguste Antonov
Concert Pianist
http://www.avgusteantonov.com


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