You know, I can see it so clearly now. It was my mis-step into this site that drove out every last ounce of joy I once had making music.
I don't care much about the personal insults, having had worse things flung at me by various members past and present.
But that you now blame PS for your break with music is a bit rich. Or I suppose you might want to blame that on me personally too ? We see that often these days. Terrible things happen, for no reason at all, and yet somebody must be found to blame it on. I understand it to a degree. People try to find a reason as well as a scapegoat.
No, I can't begin to understand what it is like to give up playing. If only you had stayed on instead of dropping off the radar and then coming back with a vengeance, things might have been different. There would have been ample sympathy and support, as much from me as from anyone here, and likely the mood would not have been soured as it is now.
Anyway, seeing as you hate us so much now, except maybe some particular members, it may be best, as Terez suggested, to leave the forum, at least for the time being, and continue private conversations with people you feel you can still talk to.